Advice From...
The Doctor of Love

Emperor Showa (Hirohito)

 

Brandon's Comic/Coffee Break

 

[Obvious] Jon Voight says he's still waiting to see Angelina Jolie's twins. Take a freakin' number, Jonny

Now Magazine

[Strange] Firemen call for backup to help fight off a mountain goat attacking a house

(Some Guy)

[Spiffy] Todays lesbian teacher sex scandal is brought to you by Mesa, Texas. w/pic

(Some Guy)

[Amusing] TSG mugshot roundup: Show me your hands

The Smoking Gun

[Weird] Oklahoma Insurance Commissioner proposes seizing football season tickets if you don't have health insurance. In other news, OU fans are upset

(Durant Democrat)

[Followup] A former priest who was caught jogging naked must register as a sex offender. Registering means he must forever wear black shirt and white collar so everyone will know he's a sex offender

UPI

[Florida] Running out of ridiculous things to do, Florida teens now resorting to blow dart drive-bys

ABC Action News

[Florida] Student arrested for flatulence. That stinks

TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim

[Weird] Barack Obama Elementary School -- name change you can believe in

Newsday

[Asinine] "Sir, you have to take your turban off. This is the United States"

WRAL

[Interesting] One in four British men wish their wife would go under the knife. In the age of obesity, "You need a boob job" falls to #3 behind "Hello, Front-butt" and "Pass the cottage cheese"

Telegraph

[Strange] Bats infest WV school, making many students sick. School officials not sure why the kids got sick but said they are guano find out

(Count Chocula)

[Stupid] If an FBI agent goes missing in Iran, does nobody question why he was there in the first place?

CNN

[Obvious] Average gas prices fall below $2 a gallon in the U.S. "I think the American consumers are afraid that this is a mirage" Obvious tag shines proudly

CNN

[Obvious] Parents upset that a Miss Teen Texas pageant was hosted by a drag queen and held at a gay bar

Dallas News

[Photoshop] Photoshop these "frosticles"

PhotoSig

[Interesting] Obama names Geithner for Treasury, DOW soars in response to close above 8,000 and change

Reuters

[Scary] Savannah St. University campus on lockdown after shooting

WSRZ

[Amusing] Swiss Army tells wannabe recruits: You can join up if you're a drug addict, but not if you're a vegetarian

Daily Express

[Interesting] Two-year-old boy takes Viagra four times a day just to stay alive. That must be hard

Fox News

[Followup] Mugshot of guy arrested while wearing prisoner costume for Halloween

The Smoking Gun

[Interesting] How much is a ticket to Sweden? The Local publishes night life gallery full of gorgeous women and complete euro-trash douchebags

The Local (Sweden)

[Strange] Quack gets flak for back room whack. OR Whore roars for more hardcore drugs galore

Telegram

[Scary] The good news is there is less fat and sodium in fast food. The bad news is there are more veterinary needles

(Some Homemade Chili Guy)

[Obvious] Nebraska to limit Safe Haven law to only infants, seeing as how no one has left infants so far

CNN

[News] Hillary says "yes"

Fox News

[Scary] District court rules baseball bat is not an accepted means of clearing out those awkward party guests

Billings Gazette

[Sad] " Florida Teen Commits Suicide Before Live Webcam Audience" Out of respect, FOX to wait 24 hours before announcing new reality show

(WIOD)

[Dumbass] Nickelback frontman Chad Kroeger blames Guitar Hero for the lack of bands for them to tour with. Fails to realize that it's probably because no one wants to be associated with them

Kotaku

[Obvious] As Thanksgiving approaches, fire chiefs warn of dangers of deep-frying turkeys. In directly related story, Fark braces for rash of "Fail", "Dumbass", and "Florida" submissions

(Some Turkey Fryin' Guy)

[Cool] Forget harajuku girls: Young Japanese women are now dressing like princesses, although it's unclear if they're looking for a short Italian plumber to save them

Wall Street Journal

[Followup] Fark-ready headline of the day: "Obama to tap Clinton after Thanksgiving"

The Street

[Fail] Holy fail: terrorist intended to take his home-made bomb "into the packed dining area but could not open the toilet cubicle door"

BBC

[Dumbass] Man threatens to blow up Cincinnati landmarks. Includes Bengals, omits Reds despite both already being disasters

(WLWT)

[Amusing] Man dresses as jailbird for Halloween, ends up in jail. Subby can't decide whether to dress as a millionaire or a porn star next year

(Intelligencer)

[Cool] Ugly-Ass cheetah cubs make debut at Cincinnati Zoo (with pic and cheetahastic video)

Cincinnati Enquirer

[Amusing] An aggressive Thai General who has threatened to bomb anti-government groups and drop snakes on protestors from helicopters has been reassigned...as an aerobics teacher

Reuters

[Interesting] Study finds those who live in messy areas tend to have bad behavior. Entire population of New Jersey expected to be arrested soon

USA Today

[Followup] Looks like GM CEO Rick Wagoner will be flying commercial the next time he begs Congress for a handout

Reuters

[Asinine] Bush administration desperate for one last hurrah, begs Supreme Court to punish CBS for showing Real Americans™ a Super Bowl boobie

News.com.au

[Unlikely] Somali pirates are good because they bring home food and money to their impoverished communities. Good moral equivalence there, Associated Press

AP

[Spiffy] Woman fixes butterfly's broken wing, nurses it back to health, gives it to trucker who takes it to Florida. What could possibly go wrong?

TampaBays10.com

[Florida] Showing off a knotted rope in high school can be bad noose

TampaBays10.com

[Fail] 18-year-old buys U.S. Army sergeant's uniform online and attempts to cash $40,000 check not thinking that the cops might be veterans and figure out most 18-year-olds in the Army aren't sergeants

Hartford Courant

[Weird] "After avoiding the law for almost 20 years, it was a tame deer that finally blew accused child molester Dudley Taylor's cover"

(Canadian Press)

[Amusing] Caution: do not attempt to rob naked pensioners, they might spray you

News.com.au

[Followup] Winning bidder will not pay for drawing of 7 legged spider, trusts that this will settle the matter

MSN

[Dumbass] Cop demands to bring firearm into nightclub, begins waving a pistol around while yelling "Who you gonna call?" The Aristocats defer to the Ghostbusters

Buffalo News

[Photoshop] Photoshop occupants for this classic cartoon's background

(Hyde and Hare)

[News] Failout

Wall Street Journal
Humor