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Through the looking glass with the Heritage Foundation

The current administration and the right-wing ideologues behind it have confused a lot of things. Truth has become false, and fiction has become fact. (Weapons of mass destruction spring to mind from a plethora of possible examples). Public has become private, as whole departments of the government have been captured by the industries they are supposed to regulate. Religion and government have been confounded. Freedom of speech is now literally equated with dollars (the Buckley Decision) so that attempts to limit the effect of money on elections are considered a violation of the First Amendment.

How could these things happen? What are the values of the right wing that have produced this “through-the-looking-glass” political environment with which we are now faced? Does the right actually have any values? Inquiring minds want to know.

So I decided to gird my intellectual loins and proceed through the looking glass myself to that fountainhead of all conservative thought, the Heritage Foundation. Specifically, I decided to read their mission statement “About the Heritage Foundation.”

How do they begin their introduction? Why, with a quote from that great seeker after beauty and truth, Rush Limbaugh (now resting comfortably in de-tox), of course: “Some of the finest conservative minds in America today do their work in the Heritage Foundation.” Aha! I have already learned something important here. Conservatives are special. They do not just have minds; they have a special type of mind, a conservative mind. I have long suspected that being a conservative might have a genetic basis, and here is Rush Limbaugh all but confirming it. I was encouraged. This explained a lot, so I decided to push on to the next paragraph: “The Heritage Foundation … is a think tank. We draw solutions ... from the ideas, principles and traditions that make America Great.”

OK, now I was getting somewhere, special “conservative” minds thinking. I read on: “We are not afraid to begin our sentences with the words, ‘We believe,’ because we do believe: (emphasis in original) in individual liberty, free enterprise, limited government, a strong national defense, and traditional American values.” OK then, the special conservative minds are not thinking; they are believing. In other words they have faith.

Now came the meat: “We want an America where choices (in education, health care and retirement) abound ... taxes are fair, flat and comprehensible; where everybody has the opportunity to go as far as their talents will take them; where government concentrates on its core functions, recognizes its limits and shows favor to none.” Oh. Now I was seeing the special conservative minds busy not thinking.

I was deep into the mirror now and only the distant memories of Economics 101 and my Little Orphan Annie decoder ring could help decode this one. A flat tax is a regressive tax and favors the wealthy, the same with the Bush tax cut. So much for fairness and favor to none. And I know the right wing has opposed education funding, health care funding and even social security. Turning now to my trusty decoder ring I dialed in the key word, “choice,” and back came the answer, “Not with our money.” Money. That’s the value that remained after the baloney was removed.

I moved on with renewed confidence that I had found the core value. “We generate solutions consistent with our beliefs and market them to the Congress, the Executive Branch, the news media and others.” And further on: “Ideas have consequences, but those ideas must be promoted aggressively.” Aha, so the faith of the special minds needs selling, salesmanship, propaganda. I had thought truth would have been an easier sell, but then they aren’t selling truth, are they?

I was nearing the end now, and the pronouncements became more high falutin’: “We believe the values and ideas that motivated our Founding Fathers are worth conserving.” Hmm. Sounds good, but how can I judge if they mean it? What values and ideas were they talking about? What could I possibly use to judge the sincerity of this grandiose claim?

Why, the Bill of Rights of course. Quickly pawing through my backpack and pulling out my copy of the venerable document, I made a quick check. “Religious establishment prohibited.” Nope, not that one. “Right to keep and bear arms.” No; they always leave out that pesky part about the well-regulated militia. “Right of search and seizure regulated.” Not under Ashcroft, anyway. “Right to speedy trial, witnesses, etc.” Oops, Ashcroft again. “Excessive bail or fines and cruel punishment prohibited.” Foiled again. Guantanamo, the Patriot Act and that man of integrity, John Ashcroft. Not that one either. To be fair, I assume the Heritage Foundation probably agrees with Amendment III, “Conditions for quarters for soldiers,” but only time will tell.

So what indeed does the Heritage Foundation and, by proxy, the right wing actually hold as core values? It boils down to one thing: money. Money, the root of all evil, along with (to quote Herbert Marcuse) that dreariest of all moralities, “Charity begins at home.” Put into the vernacular it comes out, “Screw you, Jack, I got mine.” Somehow I think the Founding Fathers had something different in mind. 

Readers are invited to see the complete “About the Heritage Foundation” at www.heritage.org/About/aboutHeritage.cfm.