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PART THREE OF A THREE PART SERIES DETAILING CHRISTIANE HELBIG AND PHIL SANDERS' SEARCH FOR PHIL'S MOTHER Christiane Helbig Special to The Ebbtide Phil Sanders was adopted as a child, and had little knowledge of his biological family. He and his wife, Christiane, traveled to Germany in January 1999. During the first installment, we learned that they had visited the orphanage in which Sanders lived during the first six months of his life. They also visited a cemetery, where the cemetery official found unsettling records about Sanders' mother's death. They found that she had committed suicide in December of 1953 and taken her 9-year-old daughter with her. During the second installment, Christiane and Phil were searching everywhere they could for clues. Beginning in Jaegersburg, an entire morning was spent on the phone trying to locate Phil's mother's urn. After learning that all of the records had been sent to Homburg, Christiane made a phone call to the Homburg City Hall, which led to a suggestion to contact the Jaegersburg minister. The minister informed them that the death records for 1953 had been sent to an archiving facility in Speyer, and that the police considered suicides closed cases, and destroyed the records after five years. They also looked into the Dresden Bank, where Phil's mother had worked and set up an adoption fund for Phil. However, that attempt turned out dry. Finally, a small piece of information was found in Homburg. Here, they found information indicating that Phil's mother had lived in Homberg from July 1945, until November 1975. This confused them, as they had already found out she died in 1953. Assuming a mix up, they began searching the cemetery in Jaegersburg. At the end of the second installment, Christiane and Phil found out that the wall where the urns were kept had recently been removed during a remodel... It was late Thursday afternoon. We were frustrated and tired. Phil suggested driving back to Heidelberg. We had done what we could. But I had already made up my mind. Something told me that it was not yet time to give up. In the middle of the Jaegersburg town square, I got out of the car and went into a phone booth. It had not occurred to me earlier that I could just call directory assistance and ask for the phone number of a Mr. Kniege. The operator did not find a listing in Jaegersburg. I asked the operator to check the surrounding areas, and he said, "Yes, I have one listing under W. Kniege." I dialed the number, and I could feel my heart beating. A man answered and I explained why I was calling. He was hesitant at first, but once I substantiated my story with names and birth dates he opened up and started talking about his family and mentioned several names. I was so excited. I could not believe that I was talking to one of Phil's relatives. Knowing that I was asking a lot, I hesitantly asked if we could visit him. He said he had a big dog and was unable to have any guests in his home. "You should contact my twin sister Theresia. She knows all about the family, and she just recently worked on the family tree," he told me. He gave me her address and phone number. Unfortunately, nobody answered when I called her number. We knew without speaking a word that we were not leaving until we had talked to Theresia. Since we had the address, we drove by the house, but it did not look like anyone was home. It was getting dark, and we were hungry. We went to a small restaurant very close to Theresia's house. The restaurant owner let us use his private telephone and after several attempts, somebody answered, and I again explained Phil's story. Theresia confirmed that Frieda Angeloch was part of her family and had a son who she had believed was dead. Theresia was extremely friendly. She immediately invited us to her house. I will never forget the moment when the door opened and this petite woman with blond curly hair looked at Phil and said, "Oh my God, you look just like your mother." A second later, we found ourselves on her couch in the living room. Phil broke down in tears when she handed him a photograph of his mother.
We returned the next day for coffee and tasty chocolate cake and met Wilhelm (the man on the phone) and Inge, Theresia's brother and sister. From all the photos, stories and descriptions, we learned that Phil's mother was an attractive, intelligent and caring person. The question, why such a wonderful person ended her life, remains unanswered. Theresia told us, the last person to know about the reasons died in 1998. We spent several hours trying to learn as much as possible about Phil's mother and stepsister. Theresia had prepared a photo album for Phil to take home. It included pictures of Phil's mother and stepsister as well as grandparents, aunts, uncles and many more family members. By the time we left, I was exhausted from having to translate so much information about people I did not even know. Since this first meeting we have written letters to each other and visited them again in 2000. Our journey had come to an end. We started on a quest to find a grave. Instead, we found more than we ever imagined possible. I learned that we must accept the past, since it cannot be changed and that we may never understand why people make certain choices. Each individual's life travels a path nobody can retrace. I gained a greater understanding of how lucky I was to always have known my parents and to have grown up in an intact and happy family. Through this experience I realized that it was my strength of will, dedication, determination and detective sense which allowed me to solve this family mystery. For Phil this was the beginning of a new period in his life. He never knew much of his natural mother, and there was nothing that tied them together. Doors that he thought would be always closed had opened, and he found a group of people with whom he shared the common bond of family. His mother was no longer a stranger. Living this adventure together added a very special bond to our relationship. I became the link between Phil's past, present and future. Two people from the same country, separated by years and miles, came together and answered one of the most basic questions anyone can ask: who is my mother? Part one of this series is in the January 31, 2003 edition of The Ebbtide. Part two of this series is in the February 14, 2003 edition of The Ebbtide. © 2003 Shoreline Community College™ |
