Love & War
Dear Love and War,
It's been a little over a year since the day of our break-up. I moved on. But after a phone call yesterday, I've been reminded that I am still in love with her. Everything was perfect. We liked eachother intensely before we even knew eachother. We dated all senior year of highschool and had plans together for every stage of life. She even dubbed this ring I gave her for Valentine's Day to be her pre-engagement ring. As for the break-up, it was the result of one very terrible argument. I said some things I didn't know I was capable of saying and it changed the way she saw me. Designing clothes was her life, and I had always loved that about her.
Someone had tricked me into believing something very bad about her (later it turned out to be a lie). But, because of the way it made me feel, I told her I hated her designs, and that she had no talent. After I said that, her trust in me lost something I could never get back. I apologized, she forgave me, but nothing was the same.
Recently she was in a minor car accident, and she came out of it with this thing called retrograde amnesia. She called me the other day and it was clear she couldn't remember that we broke up a year ago. To her, we were still a couple. She said "I love you." with the same certainty I once was very used to hearing and I glowed for the rest of the day. As her family's doctors tell me, there is a slim chance she will regain memory of the the time period of our break-up. Her family thinks I can help her by spending time with her, but they don't know how bad our breakup was. If I do, there is no question we will instantly be lovers again. What should I do?
Sincerely,
Memory of Love Lost
Dear MLL,
War: The way I see it, you have a perfect opportunity to forge some new memories with this girl. You said she forgave you before anyways, so what's the harm? If the two of you still have chemistry, and become lovers again, maybe it will bring her memory back, and maybe it won't. If it does, she'll have new memories of you being there for her after the accident, which will probably override your previous insult concerning her designing talent. If they don't, and she wants to hold onto something so petty as one poorly worded statement while you were heated, then fuck her. Find someone that isn't such a drama queen. You didn't mean it in the first place, you were just pissed off. You're here now, and you care. That should be enough.
Love: Memory, the first thing you need to ask yourself is do you really love this girl, or do you just love the way she makes you feel? It seems like you reacted to lies someone else told you due to the fact that it made you feel betrayed. In other words, it isn't that you love her or hate her, it is only what she makes you feel or what people tell you about her that makes you feel something that you are latching onto. If you do truly love her, then tell her you had a falling out, that you overreacted to lies someone told you, and that you told her you thought she had no talent in design. She deserves to know what happened, and there's no guarantee that her memory will return, so be someone who loves her and tell her the truth. When we love someone we put them before ourselves, when we love how they make us feel we are really just using them for a "love high" and when that goes away, the relationship crumbles to dust anyways. Search your heart carefully, and perhaps this relationship can find a new, fresh start.
Sincerely,
Love&War
