Dear L&W,

I have been dating this guy for a while now and he is great. We have so much fun together and for the first time in a long time I feel like I found someone I can really connect with. We have recently started having sex and I'm starting to think that maybe the connection isn't as strong as I thought. What we’re doing… I'm not sure it can be really referred to as sex since it has yet to last five minutes. I don't want to say anything in fear of hurting his ego. I fear I am about to hit that point where enough is enough though. In my case enough is NOT enough. This has never happened before and we seem to have this underlying passion for each other but it's never fully expressed. It's like describing how good something tastes but never fully getting to experience it. I can't describe it. You don't know how horrible it is to just stop right when you get going. Is there a way to make him last longer or at least help me tell him without hurting him? There is only so much a girl can take.

- Going but never getting there

Dear GBNGT,

Well, you certainly sound like you've had enough of not enough. Before you jump to a rash decision and dump the poor guy for his shortcomings, here is some info to extend your knowledge and hopefully your time in the sack too.

According to WebMD, (webmd.com) “Premature ejaculation is one of the most common forms of male sexual dysfunction and has probably affected every man at some point in his life.” The Web site also says that premature ejaculation may occur with a new partner, only in certain sexual situations, or if it has been a long time since previous ejaculation.

Premature ejaculation is not so much a problem as it is a learning curve. Males can climax early because of an overly-strong sexual attraction for a sexual partner. As time goes on, and your sex life evolves, and he gets more accustomed to having sex with you, the tendency to “blow a load” so early may decline.

Remember that the body has no preference for how long sex lasts. All the body wants to do is pass on the genes, so ejaculating less quickly is something that the body has to get used to.

If time passes and the quick climaxes persist, you need to tell him, first of all. There is nothing wrong with wanting to get in on the euphoria yourself. It’s not fair that only one person gets to feel good during sex and I think most couples out there can understand that.

There are a variety of options, according to mayoclinic.com, for treating premature ejaculation. You might try the squeeze technique. This is when a male builds up sexual stimulation with his partner, and then right before he ejaculates, his partner will grab the end of his penis and squeeze so that the head joins the shaft until the urge for ejaculation passes. The partner will then release the penis and wait 30 seconds before continuing sexual stimulation and repeating the squeeze process. If repeated enough times, the male may learn how to delay ejaculation habitually.

You can try sexual therapy, where the male might masturbate one or two hours before intercourse. You could also avoid sex for awhile and perform sexual activities that don’t put pressure on the male not to climax.

As for medications, some antidepressants are used to treat premature ejaculation, but should only be taken under the direction of a doctor.
Just remember not to be too harsh on the short-timer, he may yet last out the night.

- L&W


Dear L&W,

You know how when you eat asparagus your pee smells different? I like that smell.

- Asparagus Pee

Dear Asparagus Pee,

Thanks for sharing.

- L&W

Rant
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the “I just got out of bed” look is really only cute if you’re an eight-year-old going to a slumber party. The 20-year-old going to college in their pj’s is pushing it. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m all about being comfortable! I get the attraction to wanting to wear your flannel pants and slippers to school. But, shouldn’t we draw the line somewhere? I’m not suggesting a rule against it or anything; I’m just suggesting you ask yourself “would my mom be embarrassed to see me?” If the answer is “yes”, then you can probably assume that it’s a bad outfit choice if you have any interest in people taking you seriously when you talk.